238

It sucks going from 880 freeway to 580 after 11pm. For some reason they close down the 238. Which from I can figure its not real freeway. Its just the connecting of the two freeways. They show you where to go to get to 580. But it takes about an hour to get there. Its been that way for a while. I always think that when a city has a lot of construction going on. someone is trying to get reelected. But freeways are under either the state or the country. I thought California was broke. But everywhere I go. They are closing down freeways to fix them. So I guess they are not that broke. But they have to find a way not screw up the drivers. Especially at that time. Because people just want to get home. But they don't care. Its gotten to the point I avoid that area at that time.

atm

I am so lazy. I go an extra mile to an ATM that is drive through. But I became an expert on using a drive through ATM. I get real close so I can use it without having to pull a back rib. But sometimes I miss. I have to move the car in reverse to use it. Some people just get out of the car at the drive through. Because they did not move the car close enough. Excuse me if you are getting out of you car. Use regular the ATM. The drive through ATM are made for us lazy people who can measure distance between the ATM and the car. But I have to say it is kind of a pain in the ass to use. Even though I am lazy. They make you do extra steps. That are not necessary. Like after you put how much money you want. You have to confirm it. Well why would I ask for the money if I was not sure I wanted it. Or the do you want a paper. No paper thank you. D't need it. I took all the money in the account out. I know there is nothing there. The paper does not have to tell me that.

hair gel

Its always weird when put on hair gel. Because I like to put it on while I am in my car. I like to dry it when I am driving. Its crazy because I have all my hands full of gel. Then I get the gel all over the steering wheel. Tut the gel drys up with the heat. The heat I turn on when I am trying to dry my hair. The heat from the heater. Its summer time and I got the heater running just to dry my hair gel. Its seems complicated and it is. Why not just out on gel and dry it in the bathroom with a blow dry? Yeah its sounds like a good idea. But its time to do the things they way they are best for you. I like drying my hair in the car. It makes me feel pretty.

mets

I always thought the NY Mets could do more to look cool. Their colors are blue and orange. Why not Orange uniforms. Whats cooler than that. Please the orange color is coolest color ever. I know that jails use the orange uniforms color. That way the Mets have a built in fan base. I mean the criminals will not realize why they are Mets fans. Because they wear the same colors. They will be the most popular team in baseball. Including the Yankees. They should wear orange hats too. That way the criminals will wear them because they go nicely with their jail unies. What is better than that? Nothing. Think about it. They could light up too under the lights. Maybe the problem is that Orangemen is considered a raciest term. For Native Americans. In fact Syracuse University had to drop the name Orangemen to just Oranges.

pregnancy

I was at the gym at my apartment building. Right next to the pool. Their was a pregnant woman in a bikini in the pool. Gross. Yes you pregnant woman. Cover up. Yes pregnancy is a beautiful. Not really. I don't want to see it. Especially If you have a couple kids already in the pool. But at least cover up. I don't think pregnant women are sexy. Pregnant women just make me think their is some man out there whose life is fucked. No more fun. No more sleeping. No more games to watch. If your life is already fucked by pregnancy at least get sex out of it. I don't want to see it. I rather see breast feeding in public. Than a pregnant woman in a bikini. Cover up. If Speedo can make some swimsuits that make you go faster. I am sure they make a swimsuit to cover up your pregnant stomach.

carriage

I was in Livermore yesterday. Leaving the downtown area for the first time in my life I was following a carriage. A carriage on the road. dude. This is not the 1800's. Why is there a horse drawn carriage on the road. Why is it I have to go like 5 miles an hour following a carriage. This is crazy. I knew Livermore has a rodeo. But a horse drawn carriages are just out of the question. Not just because of the 5 miles an hour. But also because horse's shit where they want. Horse's have no shitting policy. Their policy is where it falls it falls. Horse's do not worry about getting to the bathroom that makes you put in that fake coin.

stickyness

I was drinking a Red Bull while driving. I know that's not illegal. And I had to make a quick stop. I accidentally spit out some Red Bull on my dashboard and my windshield. The problem is I get lazy. And I did not clean that up for a while. The smart thing to do would be to take to those car washes that wash your car inside and outside. But I am cheap. So I just left it dirty. Then I had to keep my car dirty in the outside. So know one could tell that my stain was actually in the inside. Ha ha. I know. But now I cleaned the inside and the outside. Not completely. Their is a couple of spots. I still have not reached. I guess I will get a car washer to clean one day. Ha ha. Yeah. I wish I was good at yoga so I could get to those hard to dirty areas. But we all have gifts that we are born with. And gifts we are not born with. And flex is not my gift.

eyebrows

I was at the mall. I saw a booth that sold eyebrows. A whole booth that sold eyebrows. I know that women and men have been using fake eyebrows for centuries. So there have always been stores that sold fake eyebrows. But this was a booth that only sold fake eyebrows. Do we really need a whole booth to sell fake eyebrows? I mean we all have eyebrows. Not once have I seen some woman and thought she is hot. But she needs more eyebrows. It is almost impossible for someone to think that person needs more eyebrows. Hey. We sell fake everything else. Why not eyebrows. Yeah maybe. But a whole booth. Maybe I am out of touch with this generations youth. Maybe it is cool to use fake eyebrows. Maybe. I don't think so. I just kept staring at it. Could not believe it.

sweaters

I don't own any sweaters. I don't know why? Except that they itch like hell. Well not all of them. But I just don't own any of them. I can't remember when I did own a sweater. I know sad. So sad. I wonder if their is a sweater group that is going to protest me? Some sweater lobby group in the Washington. Trying to convince Obama to wear sweaters with his mom jeans. Tell congress to wear sweaters instead of suits. I remember when sweaters were in. Well I can't remember that. I used to wear sweaters. But I used to do a lot of things. That I don't do anymore. Sweaters say a lot of somebody. But I don't know what it is. Because I don't wear them.

dvr

DVR is like the greatest thing ever invented. Because I don't have pay attention to sporting events. I can just ignore the game for a while. Then when I come back and I see the someone scored I can rewind it. Its the best. Because it has made me a more productive Facebook friend. Yes I can pay attention to my Facebook friends. So they feel good about me as a Facebook friend. Unfortunately not some of my Facebook friends.They just ignore me. Its sad for me. Because Ido care about what they are posting. What was I writing about. Oh yes DVR. Wait a second I have to check the TV to see the score. No the score. Its still zero zero. OK now I am back.

wipers

My windshield wipers are stuck to my windshield. At first I thought someone superglued them as a joke. But after a while I realized it was not someone. But something. It was a tree or trees that superglued my wipers. I don't know how sticky stuff comes off the trees and lands on my windshield. Maybe its tree cum. Maybe the trees have sex and the cum lands on my windshield. Because whatever it is. Its hella sticky. I forgot that my wipers were stuck to the windshield and accidentally turned them on. They broke. The rubber part got stuck to my windshield. The metal part moved. They came apart. Kind of sad. My wipers will need to separate. I don't how long they have been together. How many storms they have fought together. All good things must come to an end.

shave

I don't like to shave. But I also don't like having a beard. I like the in between look. But I like to have some growth for when I do shows. So I have to time it. Like when I do a show. I like to at least have a 2 day growth. So I have to think. Because some times I have shows back to back. So I have to decide which show gets the 2 day growth. Is it going to be the first date or the second date. Usually its the first date. Wins. Because the second date. Will have a 3 day growth. But I never like to have more than a 5day growth. Because it starts to itch. Itching is not good for the concentration. But at the same time. I don't like to shave. It hurts. I used to shave with a machine to cut hair. It gave me the least 2 day growth. But I got paranoid. I thought the machine was making my hairs stop growing. I thought I had a bald spot on my face. So I stopped using it.

gps

Why don't they make a GPS that helps you find parking spots. You need one if you live in San Francisco. Because parking sucks. Maybe like Google earth but at the city level. You can see where there is open parking spots. You could be on one street look at video of the streets near by. That would be very nice. Maybe the video can turn red in the areas that the cars engines are on. So you can see where the parked cars that are leaving are. Then a blue light that shows where the near by moving cars are. So you know how fast you have to go to beat the other cars looking for parking spots. It sucks looking for parking. People who live in San Francisco spend 5 years of their life looking for parking. Those 5 years you can never get back.

gel

I put on hair gel once in a while. I used to put on hair gel a lot. but I stopped. I think it was just punk look I liked. But now that I put it on before. I remember all the good times hair gel and I had. the funniest part of hair gel is trying to get it off. I start to pick it apart. Like some bad scab on my arms. After a while its just sticky stuff on my hair. It does not hold anything together. So I start to peel it off. Like some bad tick. I can't but just play with my hair. Its kid of fun. I can't wait to pull all the old gel off. My hands get all sticky from the gel I have been peeling off. But yes itIsmells good. Oh all the good times.

harry potter

People like Harry Potter and the books. But are they not fiction? I mean really. A bunch of teenagers who have the ability to make magic? Yeah. I would have have had the best grades in school and never even study. Not that I was a bad student. OK Chris was a bad student. But that is my point. Magic powers. Mark me here in class when I am not there. Make a clone to go to class for me. Then that clone would also make a clone. Party all the time. Party all the time. No problem Getting beer? Jesus had no problem getting wine. If you want evidence of what corrupts. Sex. No problem. Get sex when I want it. Its magic. How many girls would get hotter bodies if they had the magic to do it? Larger breasts? Yeah. everyone of them would look like a Playboy model. Everybody would have the hottest cars. Never need gas. Magic. Party all the time. Party all the time. Party all the time.

lights

The most annoying stop lights are the ones on the bay bridge. Right after the toll booths. what is the point of slowing everybody down? Why are the lights there. You have to stop to go through the toll booths anyway. The only group not stopping are the carpoolers. Maybe the lights are as punishment. Don't get me started on the carpoolers. Why do you need to be 3 people to be a carpooler on the bay bridge. But on the regular roads the carpoolers are 2 people. We are all waiting while the lights turns green to go. But why? The bridge is empty already? Are we such bad drivers we need to be controlled on the bridge from passing each other?

ticket

I was at the court house paying a ticket. I could not find parking. So I parked in a C parking spot. C being for county worker. I have seen the C stickers before on cars. I thought they meant Christian. Not true. So I went up payed the ticket. The line was long. I guess some traffic court got out and all these sad looking court losers were in line with me. One guy actuality decided to go on break during this long hell hole line. Well I payed the ticket. Got out went to my car. When I see a ticket waiting there for me. I was upset with myself and God. But God is good. It was not a ticket. But a 2 for1 coupon at Quizon's. I guess God knew I liked Quizon's.

tan

Every summer my left arm gets sun burned from driving. While my right arm doesn't. Its not really fair. My right arm is jealous of my left arm. Because my left arm has a nice tan. But my left arm is jalousie of my right arm because its does not get sun burned. So this is my idea. I am going to get a car from England. Where the steering wheel is on the other side. That way I can take turns giving both of my arms sun tans and burns. Gosh the things I do to keep body happy. I wonder if pitchers have these problems? Why does the left arm get to pitch?

hanging out

Hanging out is a show done by Chris Schiappacasse and Vahe Hovak. Vahe and Chris met at Annies Social Club. Vahe saw Chris on stage. He was so impressed he went up to Chris and said. Dude intro rocks. Chris thought the intro does rock. Vahe said we should make movies. Chris thought everybody wants to watch chris on video. Sounds like a good idea. Vahe thought. Everybody wants to watch Vahe on video. Sounds like a good idea. Chris asked Vahe. Do you have a video camera? Vahe said. Yeah I do. And thats how it all started.

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=105581932114&ref=mf

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAvgtPkPHnM

ufc

Iwas watching UFC last night. I kept wondering about the bloody mat. Do they make mats a certain color knowing that the blood would shine more? The color being blue like the South's Civil War colors. Conspiracy? I don't know. Do they make the mats a special material that soaks up the blood? What happens to the mats after the matches? Do they wash them and use them again? Do they donate it to a local UFC school? Do they cut it up into pieces and sell them as souvenirs? Does someone get the mat as a souvenir? Its kind of disgusting when you see all that blood on the mat? Shouldn't they wipe off the blood between matches? I would not want to be rolling around in a mat full of someone else's blood. but that's just me.

young cons

Young cons is a rap group from Dartmouth. Well I don't if they are a rap group or just a political group that raps. But I have to say I can't stop listening to the song. YOUNG CONS ANTHEM. Its catchy. Its hella funny. But I want some more. More music. I am addicted. is their a rap group called YOUNG LIBS that puts a record talkin shit about Conservatives. YOUNG COMS. YOUNG ANS. This reminds me of the old hip hip days. When the music was good and had a message. where can I get a t shirt?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkeZ2P4SiY8

strike

Yeah its that time again. The Bart workers want more money. The union is thinking about striking. Hello. You work at Bart. Yes some jobs at Bart deserve to be payed good. Because their jobs are complicated. Like the mechanics. And even the drivers. But I think the trains drive themselves. But it is just so hard to stare at people, and answer questions. Do they even care that it's the customers that are getting hurt in their pay increase. It's the customers that are going to get screwed. Bart is expensive as it is. Don't these workers realize that they are hurting themselves. If Bart becomes too expensive. People are going to drive. Then they will be out of a job. Its crazy that they feel they deserve more money. When will these unions just say. The economy is bad. People are losing their jobs. Lets just keep the contract we have? Lets take a pay cut? No. They want more money. More money. More money. Show me the money.

illiteracy

I figured out that I am illiterate in more than 100 languages. When people think you are illiterate. They think about English. Or whatever language is spoken in the country you are in at that moment. But the reality is that there are so many languages out there. That just because you can read and write in one or two like in my case. There are so many languages. That I never will be able to read and write in. There has to be someone out there who can speak in more than 20 languages. But we don't know them. Because that is not a skill that is cared about much. We don't care about that kind achievement. Even though its a skill just as hard as anything else we care about. But education doesn't start teaching kids foreign languages early. Like they do in other countries. My cousins can read and write in 3 languages. Because the education system required that.

mj

I have not seen the MJ memorial yet. So please don't give away the ending. I have it on DVR. Just waiting to watch it. For those of you who don't know what a DVR is. Well its this thing that records the shows you want it to. Its like Tivo. But Tivo is a ripoff. DVR is free with Comcast. No I don't know what DVR stands for. Direct viewing religously? Dick vagina remember? Fuck I don't. So don't tell me how the MJ memorial ended. I see pics of it on Yahoo. I see people wearing black. But that is no indication of how it went. I wear black too. So don't tell me how it ended. Who cried. Who sang. Who acidentially dropped the casket trying to carry it in. Please. I know MJ's brothers are weak. I see Kobe and Magic were there. Most likely to carry the casket. Since it is made out of steel. I hope American steel. Haha.

public enemies

I went to see the movie Public Enemies. I liked it. Until someone told me it was the 7Th time that film has been made. 7Th time? What. The story took place in the 30's. We are in 2009. That means that the movie gets made every 10 years. That means now I have to go watch the other 7 movies. To see which is the best Public Enemies. That means that you could have a Public Enemies film festival. That means you can major in the movies and make your thesis on Public Enemies. Has the director seen all 7 movies? At this rate iIwill get to see 5 more public enemies in my life time. Maybe I will get to be in one of them. Maybe play the cop that takes him down. I should be cast as Dillinger himself. But you never know. How many movie executives have thought, it sucks that he died. we could have made a sequel.

russia

Remember the days when Reagan would go have a conference with the USSR. It was a big deal. The news would cover it for months. Their would be a countdown. The whole world was covering it. They would discuss who the president would bring over as his staff. It was bigger than big. Bigger than the Super Bowl. Not anymore. Obama is in Russia for his for his first visit and no big deal. The media was there. But its just another state visit for Obama. I know the media is busy in la. For the funiral. Russia is not evil anymore. So its all good. Well the missals are still there?

jerseys

One thing I can't stand is those godawful pink jerseys. If you are the fan of a team. Wear the jersey. Do not buy the jersey in pink. Its sickening. and its sexist. Yeah we know you are female. And to prove it you should buy a pink jersey. Why a pink jersey? Just so when we are drunk at the bar on game day. We get hornier with you wearing pink. Hey I like pink clothes. Pink is a sexy color. But if you are going to wear the jersey of the team. Wear the jersey. Not a pink alternate. But what the hell am I talking about anyway? I am an Angels fan. I have an angels cap. A black one. Not the red one. But I have an excuse. In fact I have two excuses. The first is I am along time angels. So I was wearing the dark blue with red caps all my life. So when they changed to red. I did not follow the red. I loved the dark blue and red caps. I went with black. Because once you go black, you never go back. And the second excuse. Well red is not a color you want to wear. Even when I lived in Orange County, where the Angels are from. You did not see many red Angel caps. Except if you went to the games.

clapping

Why do people clap after a movie finishes. I have been in movies where people just start clapping after the movie ends. I never understood it. Do they think the movie will hear it? Do they think there are the movie makers in the back watching the film. Or are they so used to going to plays and musicals that they can't help themselves. I understand group mentality. So I understand why people clap after other people are clapping. But what about the first person that is clapping? Maybe they are trying to wake up their dates who fell asleep by clapping?

wimbledon

This just sucks. Am I really suppose to the semi finals. Knowing score already. Would it fuck up NBC to show the semis in real time? Please its Wimbledon. Its the semis. 3 Americans. What more do you need. Is the today show so important you can't show tennis just 2 days. Its bad enough that I can't watch Sportscenter without getting the live score every ten minutes. This is crazy. I am sick of this. At least the finals are live. I can set my alarm to watch the William's sister not even try against each other.

the chosen one

I went to the movies and I heard the term the chosen one 3 times. Once in a movie and twice in a movie previews. How many chosen ones are there? Yes Harry Potter is the chosen one. But are we not all the chosen ones. Are we not all the ones that were chosen to do something. We are not all chosen to do the same thing. But we will change the world is some way during our lifetimes. they might big changes or little changes. But they are changes. So in that respect. We all are the chosen one. Times 3 to the third power. Just a numerical equation for all numerical students.

da 4th

I always know when the 4th of July is coming. When I see the firework booths. I have never bought any fireworks from one of the booths. Because I have no clue where I can light up the fireworks. What I find disturbing is the booths are set up by nonprofit groups. There has to be a better way for these groups to make money. Than to sell explosives. Which are not allowed in some cities and counties. One booth near where I live is a Christian group. please. A church group selling explosives to raise money. What would Jesus do. Well Jesus would not buy some firecrackers. Jesus had the power to amaze without having to light some crazy light show things. They have firework shows every where. Its not like you need to blowup your own fireworks. I wrote this because I can hear fireworks blowing up outside my apartment.