shopping

Ihave not been shopping yet for Christmas gifts. One of the reasons why. I don't like crowds. I don't want to deal with them. I know its a tradition. but really. We still have like a month for Christmas. So why do I have to go out the first day and buy some gifts. I think people actually shop for themselves on the first day of shopping. They don'tgo out looking for stuff for other people. Most people are not up all night waiting in line. Unless their is something they want. Maybe if you have kids. Your wife makes you go out and look for gifts for the children. But you don't want to. You rather be out looking for stuff you want. Yeah the Xbox 360 is for the kids. Its really for you. All that junk you want it. And you are willing to stand all night for it.

black friday

I did it one year. I got in line in the middle of the night to get in on the deals. Just once. And just once is enough. It seems crazy that people got in line all night just for some deals. Why not just open it at midnight. That way you could just show up from being drunk on Thanksgiving. But no they make you wait all night just for 5 good deals in the whole store. That year it was the xbox360. That's what the big lines for. I was looking for a laptop. they had cheap laptops. but only 5 of them. so i just went back home. And back to bed. no way was I going to get any kind of deal. The next day we saw a newspaper ad. So same store. For a laptop. Cheap. We just walked in and got it. Black Friday means nothing and less you are willing to participate. And Idon't participate at all.

beer

You hear a lot about buy American these days. But you never hear buy American beers. Until now. Its time. OK. You like beer. I understand. There are a lot of foreign beer drinkers out there. And they make me sick. I know a lot of people think American beer taste like shit. and I understand your opinion. But it is American and we need to support American products more than ever. No more Guinness. No more Corona, Dos x not even Mexican beers. Even though they are next door. We have to support America. Through and through. They are a lot of Small time beer makers in America. That make good beers. A good find is anchor stream. American. Look for those a good American beers in your local stores. So you can still have the good taste of beer and non of the bad taste of water downed beer. And still feel good about buying American.

big game

The big game used to be more special. When it was the last game of the season for both teams . Before a bowl game. It was played on the weekend before Thanksgiving. So the students could go home for thanksgiving. Which is not going to be this year. They both play teams next week. So its not that special. The nice things both of them are having a good season. Which not does not happen often. That they both play with winning records. These two schools don't hate each other. Like they used to. Because they are both good schools. Many people attend both of them. The game is going to be fun to watch and even be there. I won't be there. Sad. Because I will be somewhere else. But this is the kind of game i would love to watch. And watch I would. I could tivo. But who tivos sporting events. Not me. Because once you know the score why watch?

blood

I hate having to have my blood checked. I get checked every once in a while for cholesterol, high blood pressure and diabetes. But I hate it. Because they can not find a blood vessel in my arm. It takes for ever to find one. Last time after 10 minutes they found one. They stuck the needle in. And barely any blood was coming out. They wondered if i had fasted the 12 hours. Of course I fasted the 12 hours. Did I drink water. Yeah I drank water. Finally after filling 4 tubes full of blood. They took out the noodle. It always worries me that its going to leave a mark. Like I am some heroin addict. That I will have to cover up for a week my arm. So the needle bruise will not show. Some times they do a good job and no needle marks show.

17

Highway 17 should be closed down. There has to be an easier way to get to Santa Cruz. From San Jose. I go to Santa Cruz to do a comedy show and I hate going on 17. Even though I am not driving it I still hate it. They have to blow up some mountains to make a smoother freeway. I don't know anybody who likes going on that freeway. One time I went the wrong way. And I realized it. because the freeway was to nice. I know. I did not feel and the curves. The 17 freeway has more curves that the playboy mansion. Something has to be done about fixing that freeway. Maybe Schwarzenegger can do something before he leaves office. Or we should not elect someone who does not agree to fix all that crazy freeway.

kirkland

Going to Costco. I noticed that they have their a company that puts out stuff called Kirkland. Is their any stuff that Kirkland does not put out. Kirkland clothes, soap, dishes. thank god. No condoms. That might be the only Kirkland think they do not put out. Why use the name Kirkland? Why not Costco. Why not use the company name. Is their a problem with calling it by the company name. What is Kirkland? I know its a city in Washington state. But exactly what does Kirkland have to do with Costco? Is that where Costco started in Kirkland. Is the company headquarters. Who not just be honest and call it Costco?

raja bell

Raja Bell is one of the players the warriors got during the trade. He is injured for the rest of the season. So the warriors traded for a injured player. They wanted to get rid of Jackson so badly they actually traded for a player that can't play this year. What is wrong with that picture? Trading for players that can't play is not a good idea. Its not any kind of idea. Why would they do it? Because they wanted to ship Jackson. But was it necessary to get a player that can't play. What is the point of that. You need players to get to 21 wins. But now a trade that looked promising now looks stupidly bad. Not just bad. But stupidly bad.

nellie

So Don Nelson does not want to coach the Warriors anymore. But he needs 21 wins to get the most wins mark in a career. So the Warriors should just lose on purpose and make sure they do not get the 21 win mark. That solves everything. Or go on a 21 game winning streak. That way he quits right away. That's the funny thing. Can this team even give him 21 more wins. It could be close. Hella close. So the countdown starts. Each win is like a mark. Each loss will be painful. Everybody knows Nellie and the team don't get along. He has mainly a young team and players nobody else wanted. So here we are. What could be the worst or best story in the NBA this year. wWll Nellie get 21 more wins and break the record? Lets hope not. It would be hella funny if he did not get it. Yes it would.

intro

A lot of people do not like my comedy intro. Where I sound out my last name like a jazz performer. Or more like a beat boxer. I have to say. That is the sound of my last name. A lot of people never got that. Some people refuse to say my last name when introducing me. Which sucks. Because I can't make fun of my last name. And it is fun to make fun of. It is 13 letters long. 13 is a magic number. Friday the 13Th. My brother was born on the 13Th. So in a way its one of my favourite Numbers. It is also the opposite of my life number. Which is 31. I listened to a lot of jazz. Charley Parker. Miles Davis. Coltrane. Hey I loved. But I also have to give big ups to hip hop. That taught me beat boxing techniques. So at the end that is what my intro is. Nothing less or nothing more. just that. My name is Chris skiapapapakakakaksssssssse. Thanks.

2012

When I think of that day in 2012 that the world is suppose to end. I wonder how will that day be? Will we take the day off thinking that's the end? Will we just watch CNN wondering what is the update every second? What will happen? Will their be 24 hour reporting? Will there be a countdown? Will there be a watch that ends on 2012. Its weird they can't even agree what day in 2012 the world is supposed to end. I always had an affection for 2012. Because in Chinese calender the year that the world ends is 5772. Which is my birthday. I was born on may 7, 1972. 5772. Funny huh. I think so. And i still find it funny that 2012. Is a big movie. Because I am not worried about the world ending. If it ends. It ends. No big deal. We all die. I just wonder how are the people reacting to 2012. To that date. What will people be doing on that day. Checking their watches. Their TVs to see the news coverage.

lou dobbs

Lou Dobbs was fired at CNN. He did not quit. The thing was he was doing his job. He is not a newsman. His job is not to bring information as in news. His job was to get people interested in what he says. He is mainly an entertainer. More than a news person. So to say that because he kept talking about the birthers he was not doing his job. Is wrong. He was doing his job. The main problem was that he was on CNN. Not Fox News. If he was on Fox News. What he was talking about would be OK. But because it was CNN. It became a problem. CNN did not want to look like right wing think tank. Like Fox News is. Fox News has no problem looking like that. That is their goal. They are right wing and that is OK. But on CNN. That is not OK. Which is a problem.

birthers

So we have a new word in the news. BIRTHER. What is a birther? A birther is someone who believes Obama was not born in America. That whole birther campaign. Maybe Obama was not born in America. The reality was that he wasn't. Hawaii should not be part of America. It should be its own country. Have its own set of laws. People keep making fun of Alaska saying its really America. Well no one says that about Hawaii. Hawaii is like any other island the Americans claim. But has its own set of laws. So in reality. Obama should not be president. But McCain was not born in America either. He was born in Panama. His dad was serving there in the Army there. So maybe the law is crazy. Could someone from Puerto Rico become president? It is not a state? so why could someone from Hawaii? Statehood? Well Hawaii should go back to its people. Its own government structure.

lion king

I went to see the Lion King musical in New York. I liked it. I thought it was good. But its still not as good as the movie. What I did not like was that it was like puppets more than real acting. Would it have bothered the actors to wear costumes? Instead of having the faces above their own face. That kind of ruined it for me. I know their is a lot of movement. So asking them to move around in a full on lion costume might kind of crazy. But it is Disney. If anybody can do it. They should. I remember the music was better in the movie too. It was more moving. More than lets break out in song. Because it is a musical. And we are charging crazy money for you to be here. But I got to say. It was a good show. I kept wondering if the actors are using hidden boom mics. Or are their voices that strong to be able to be that loud?

peanuts

Who would of dreamed it. a peanut seller in new york city is Chilean. It was funny. As he had a sticker from Chile's greatest soccer team. Colo Colo. And a Chilean flag. That is the weird part of life here in new york we ran into another Chilean. Its like its all planned out. But a fan of Colo Colo is even crazier. But who isn't a fan of Chileans greatest soccer team. Even he is. What a coincidence. we could have picked any peanut vendor in NYC. But we chose him. Its like its all made out. But I think that is the last time we saw him too. So what was the reason we saw him? Even though he is Chilean and we are Chilean. Maybe is the reason. Does their need to be another reason. Life has its reasons. Only life knows why.

honking

I was surprised to find out they give tickets in new york city for honking your horn. How is that possible? Is honking a horn that big of an issue that you have to give tickets? What if the driver in front of you is not paying attention. You have to honk to let them know. Hey wake up. How are you supposed to let them know that? Scream at them. Whistle. Get out and kick their car. I mean if it that big of an issue. Then why sell cars with horns at all. Make a law you have to turn your horn off when in NYC? Maybe have a horn button. But how are we going to let people know hey you just cut me off? Hey your an asshole? Their are so many great uses for horns. How can using one be against the law? Too many weird laws I say.

fishing

I never saw the point in fishing. Not because fishing is wrong. Because it is part of nature's plan. If fish were not meant to be ate. They would taste bad. Well I think it tastes bad. So that's why I never see the point in it. Because I do not want to eat the fish. As a sport. I will give you that. It could be a fun sport. But you are capturing something with a tiny brain. That is not a sport. Outsmarting a tiny brain. Is what we should be doing. Damn it. We are humans are we not? We have big brains. Way bigger than fish. Not all animals have smaller brains than the fish do. But fishes is one brain we out number by a lot. So don't be telling me fishing is a sport. Now if you like to eat fish. Then I say OK. Go fish. That is alright with me. But tell me you do it as a sport. That is totally stupid for me. A hobby. OK. Most fishermen get drunk while they are fishing. So yes. You can say. That equals out the sport more. Since drunks and fishes think alike.

asbury park

From all my years listening to Bruce Springsteen. I never thought he is from the hood. But after going to Asbury Park. I realized he is from the hood. Its not a outright hood. Not like we think of. Like the bad parts of Oakland. That is straight out hood. But it is a hood. Who knew that Bruce was a gangsta rocker. He could have been a rapper. When he talks about his small town. He is really talking about the hood. It was pre crack epidemic. So its not all out hood. It might be more hood now than it was then. But it is hood alright. A new appreciation for the hood rock music Bruce puts out. He had the hood wardrobe in the 80's. Red bandanna. You remember the red bandanna. Yeah maybe he was a blood.,

champs

I got a comment from some kid in the bathroom at the mall. Smiling he asked me if i am an angels fan. I said yes. How could he notice? Was it the fact I have an Angel's cap on? Then he breaks out in New York accent telling me he got posada's autograph. Crazy. I just thought that accent was only in the movies. Do they speak like that. What do you know. It is New Jersey. So I assumed his dad is in the mob. Damn. Wow. the Sopranos really spoke like that. What's next?. It was crazy how the mall was flooded with New York Yankee World Series gear already. Did the trucks arrive at 6am with the loot? They must have had the stuff printed already. I wonder when they start printing it? As soon as the Yankees won a game. When its 2-1? 3-1? Before the season started. When exactly is it time to print. When they bought the world series in the off season?

parade

Being here in Jersey. I am close to the World Series. Which is upsetting since the Angels did not make it. But they would not have played in New York anyway. But the last thing I want to see is a Yankee parade. The Yankees were not even in the playoffs last year. Now they are World Series champs. Well not yet. Hopefully it will not happen. But I am in Jersey. At the airport I walked around with a Angels cap. I swear I was getting bad looks. Hey ts not a big deal. It is for them. What would have happened if they did beat the Yankees? More dirty looks. Maybe get my ass kicked? Well that is for next time. I have not actually stepped in NYC. I will soon. I will miss the victory parade for sure. And why not? I hope it rains on their parade.

jersey

New jersey has a liquor law which i like. You can only buy liquor at a liquor store. Not at a supermarket or pharmacy. I think its great. Too many times you can get away with buying some liquor at the pharmacy. Kind of sneaking it in. So you don't feel like a drinker. Or you could be doing your food shopping when suddenly. Maybe get a 12 pack with the food. Not here. Here you have to be a man about buying liquor. You have to go into the drunk store and get your medicine. Like buying street drugs. Like marijuana you have to go to a pot club. Well this is the same. It is a drinking club. You have to feel the shame of walking through doors of the Establishment. Even for beers you have to park and get out with all the other drinkers. Hope no one sees you at work. I know its shame full. But you should feel the shame. Feel it. You need to.

open mic

Here in the small Jersey Shore town I am staying at. There is a Mexian restaurant that has an open mic on Tuesdays from 7-9pm. Well yeah it has to be a music open mic. But that is not what it says. It says open mic. So just my luck. Here I am at the surf taco and I see the sign. This is a nice small town. Like those you remember from Leave it to Beaver. Exactly how is small town in Jersey managed to stay that way is beyond me. But what the hell. It is an open mic. And I do love a mic that is open to my wild comedy stylings. Listen kids. Its surf taco. No Mexicans anywhere near their. So who can I get as my fan base here in the lovely Jersey shore. Oh please no Springsteen or Bon Jovi cover songs. I know where I am at. I can see where the small town music comes from. From Springsteen. Look around. This is not big city son.

flight

I still feel cheated every time I fly and do not get some food. Got on the plane to JFK at 630 am. And no breakfast. They require me to bring my own food. Not counting the pretzels, peanuts and cookies of course. What cheap bastards. We even thought about changing our flight to first class. But then they said no. Your tickets are to cheap to switch to first for 150$. Thanks a lot. I felt I got delt a bad hand. I guess the days of getting food at the plane are over and less you fly international. I hope they at least feed you in first class. I would not be surprised if they do not feed you even then. Because how cheap they are. Airline scum. Why stay in business if you can't even afford the food?